Being A Bad Traveller: 8 Ways To Piss Off Your Mates After Travelling

So you’ve just got back from that trip of a lifetime, you’re trying to get back into that routine but you just can’t shake your post trip blues. Here’s eight sure fire ways to annoy your friends in the process:

  1. Simply don’t stop talking about it! Just remember literally any conversation can be spun back round to your two week stint in Thailand. “Have you seen the new Game Of Thrones episode?” “Nah man, they didn’t have a TV in our hostel. I did meet this guy Mark in Koh Phangan. He said he’d been to one of the locations they filmed at! Ah he was such a laugh, you’d have loved him. Funny story: So we’d just taken some shrooms at this full moon party…….”
  2. Pronounce everything relating to your trip in its original mother tongue. “We took the train from Valenthia to Bartheylona after eating some incredible Pie-Ay-A.” Valencia, Barcelona, Paella. You get the gist.

    Thailand Beach Photo
    To be fair Thailand is pretty awesome!
  3. Compare everything to where you were. Especially the price of things! “You paid how much for that beer? You could get a whole crate for that price in India!”Nothing quite improves the experience of paying a fiver for a pint than your mate, still fully clad in harem trousers, pointing this out. Which leads us nicely on to….
  4. Continue to wear clothing from your travels. Yes it might be comfortable. Yes it might remind you of your travels but my God it’s mid January and you’re wearing shorts, a straw hat and a vest adorned with “Eat Sleep Rave Repeat!”
  5. Attempt to speak the language of the country you were just in. You’ve just had two weeks in Minorca and have undoubtedly mastered Spanish. Now you’ve got a hot date you’re trying to impress and she’s picked a Mexican restaurant. Showtime! Of course it doesn’t help that your waiters name is Billy, he’s never been to Spain nor can he speak any Spanish. Plus you’ve just tried to order “Three large umbrellas.”Smooth.
  6. Point out how other people only go on “Holidays” and their trips certainly do not count as “Proper Travelling!” “You haven’t really visited a place until you’ve stayed with the locals…… in the jungle…..in a shack…..with no roof or running water….and definitely no electricity. Everything short of that is essentially just going for a two week stint at a five star hotel!”
  7. Photos Photos Photos! Better than that make a slideshow! And what better way to improve it than some cultural backing music. Or just use the tried and tested theme tune from ‘The Beach.’
  8. Tell everyone how they need to go travelling! You might have only been to Amsterdam for the weekend but that doesn’t matter. You are now the master of travelling and it is required of you to pass on this new found wisdom!

There’s plenty more techniques to annoying your mates after you’ve been travelling these are just the ones that first sprang to my mind (Definitely not because I’m guilty of a whole bunch of them..). If you’ve got any more I’d love to hear them!

Still in spite of all the above you really do need to go travelling! Make sure it’s travelling travelling though and not just a holiday….

Jamaican Homer

Find Your Passions: Slightly Drunk Thoughts About Life

“I’d travel more. I’d travel all the time! And I’d write while I travelled! I’d go and see awesome things, do awesome things! I’ve got this weird fascination with going to Norway, that’d be on the list. Oh and I’d get good at photography, I really wish I could spend more time doing it. I’d take up learning guitar again! I’d learn new languages, would love to be able to speak Russian or something, Mandarin maybe? That’d be cool …. Ah if only…”

We’ve all had this drunken conversation: What would you do if money were not object? That may not necessarily be the answer you’d give but I’m sure you can empathise. What most people can’t relate to however is the far less common, “I’d just keep  doing what I’m doing!” Congrats if you’re one of those people! You’ve got it sorted.

I read a study the other day stating that eighty percent of people hate their jobs! Eighty percent! Four out of five of us spend our Monday – Fridays working at something we couldn’t give two shits about. And I get the deal that the world revolves around money and short of winning big on the lottery we’ve just got to bite the bullet and get on with it. But I really don’t think thats our only option.

Cynic WorkFear of fucking up is apparently the most common reason for people not chasing their dreams, but I think there’s a far deeper problem: Society is not built with people following their dreams in mind. We grow up being told that we should, “Find something that we care about and work towards that. Don’t end up working for the man, go find something you love and make your dream a reality!” And then you leave education and the real reality kicks in. You’ve gotta go get a job, move on out and start working towards entering the housing market. Soon enough you’re slogging your brains out at a job you don’t care too much for and by the time the weekend rolls around all you want to do is cut loose. Your passions are given a back road in order to survive the day to day.

The point is: You have to take time to think about what you really want from life. What is it you desire? What is it that you really care about deep down? You don’t have to follow the crowd. Moving to the city and getting on the housing market both seem great but is it really something you care that deeply for? My passion is for travelling so that’s the best angle I can come at this from. In two weeks I’ll be moving to China for the year to teach English to kids in Beijing. Once I’m done there I’m going to attempt travelling to New Zealand without flying in order to raise some money for charity. I’ll head back to England on July 2017 for my sisters wedding and at which time, (if all goes to plan) I’ll be twenty five, penniless and with nothing but stories to my name. But for the time being at least, travelling and experiencing new cultures is what I really want and it would take a stupendous amount of persuading to convince me to try and join the housing market instead.

As I’ve called this post a guide and its turned into more of a rant I’ll finish with this: Find the things that you want, the things you really want from life and just go for it. Life is too short to play it safe and it’s far too short to live it without passions.

P.S. If this cynicism has hit home with you check out this video from the great Alan Watts!